Howdy Uncle Rick,

I'll miss saying that to you in person. It's hard to write this, as most of these thoughts and feelings weren't ever things I thought I'd need to share, even though I probably should have. A lot earlier and far more often at that. This will be my opportunity to get these thoughts out into the universe, with sentiments that I so desperately hope you already know about, regardless of whether I conveyed them properly or not with words and actions that were likely less obvious than what I'm stating so directly here.

First, I want you to know how much you are loved by your family, friends, and multiple communities that you are so deeply involved in. With that out of the way, I want you to know how much I love you. Growing up, you were always the Uncle that I saw as put together, wise, stoic, intelligent, charming, and filled with more creativity than he knew what to do with, even though you always did put it to good use. Then, as I grew older, I realized that I still felt the same way about you. You were uniquely funny in such an effortless way, and I loved the moments at family parties or events when something was overheard by the both of us, and we would give each other a look acknowledging the ridiculous nature of it. I'll truly miss those small magical moments where it felt like we were laughing together, but separately, and only on the inside. That's another thing I love about you – we could have meaningful heart to heart conversations, but also say nothing at all and it felt like we were communicating all the same, simply by how we existed in certain situations.

The last two days have felt completely unreal and I am still trying to process everything. But, it really hit me tonight, when I was giving Satsuma a bath. I started thinking about how you became a grandfather such a short time before I became a father. It took me back to my childhood and growing up with Ly and Aly. There are plenty of gaps in between, along with a lot of outsider perspective and romanticism, I'm sure, but I landed on the conclusion that you are half of the integral duo that raised two of the smartest, artistic, talented, and strong women that I know. It was that thought which made me even more grateful to know that my daughter was able to meet you, as well as bring me to a place of comfort knowing that Baily had the fortune of being around her grandpa. As I sat at the bath wiping the water from Satsuma's face, I found myself wiping tears from my own with the same towel. I thought about what it means to be a father. A father to a daughter. The impression we can make, the value we can have, the love we can give, and the person we can help develop. When I look at my cousins, talk to them, see who they've become – I know you did the best you could as their dad and I don't see how you could be anything other than proud. That's all I can hope for in raising my own daughter, so just know that I take that example to heart and will do my best as well.

I know Gobe has her own words to offer up, but to reiterate something she said that rings very true – we've always felt a strong connection to you and Auntie Linda, as it felt like we were living somewhat parallel lives during Gobe's time in LA and the constant back and forth between two cities. It was such a joy being with the both of you when we all ended up being in California at the same time. That was a night to remember and one that really emphasized some of the unique similarities between our relationships, which was yet another thing for me to look up to and marvel at. It always felt like validation that two people who were strong, independent individuals, who were often away from one another, could make it work and have love stronger than any measurable distance. For that, I thank you both.

There's always more to say, and I'm sure I will say it as time goes on. To family, to God, and to myself when I need to take a beat to come back to reality. When it comes down to it, there is so much good left behind here, which I am devastated you won't be able to experience in person, but am optimistic you will be a part of in spirit. I will keep it in my heart to know you are there with us during any family trips, big milestones, victories, defeats, ups and downs alike, you are there rooting us on, teaching us to be confident and composed, and locking your eyes with mine whenever someone's stray words fall onto our ears and pique a shared sense of humor that will never go away.

I love you so much, Uncle Rick.

Your nephew –

Alex